Courage
Just writing this and putting it out to the world is a scary thing.
In A Word is my new project - a monthly series where I share a word that showed up most for me in that month and what it meant.
March was courage and here's what it looked like for me:
Emma Gonzalez's powerful voice and deafening silence. Sharing truths about what makes me fucked up as a person. Trusting that the truths I share will not be used against me. Speaking up about the power women have - we are enabled, we have the power to ask for what we want. Making sure I ask for what I want and deserve. Living life as honest as possible - and owning up when I don't. Doing and being more of what makes me happy, unapologetically.
This article about courage over comfort by Brené Brown. Working on two new projects (and sharing them with the world). Not fearing the repercussions of voicing what is right and true. Choosing what is right and true to begin with. Finding the relief and release in being truthful with friends, despite the fear of losing the friendship. Starting relationships off on honest grounds. Opening up about what hurts.
Not being afraid of loving the Universe, mindfulness, meditation and whatever makes some people think I'm so happy hippie. Sitting with discomfort. Showing up even when I'm vulnerable. Being vulnerable to begin. Admitting I love you. Apologising. Dancing in a crowd. Giving myself the self-respect and compassion I deserve.
Saying right here, right now that I don't have it all together. I still hate parts of me and hate is such a strong word. I'm still afraid to talk about things that haunt me, still too afraid to stand up to certain people, still cry plenty even after standing up to someone and looking like I've got this. Still shake when I'm scared, still choose to bite my tongue rather than speak up. Still regret not speaking up. Still learning. Still trying, like these lines by Kimya Dawson:
Being brave is fucking scary but we must do it anyway.
“Courage, dear heart.”