Surrender
“To stop chasing meaning and freedom and happiness because those only serve to move it further away from itself. To teach it to achieve what it desires by giving up what it desires. To show it how the only way to reach the surface is by letting itself sink.
And how do we do this? By letting go. By giving up. By surrendering. Not out of weakness. But out of a respect that the world is beyond our grasp. By recognizing that we are fragile and limited and but temporary specks in the infinite reaches of time. You do it by relinquishing control, not because you feel powerless, but because you are powerful. Because you decide to let go of things that are beyond your control. You decide to accept that sometimes, people won’t like you, that often you will fail, that usually you have no fucking clue what you’re doing.”
Surrender - it's been a recurring theme more than a practice. I struggle to sit with what is and to honour what was...but maybe it's time to move on. Because it's exhausting being caught in a limbo of hope and uncertainty. I never was a "whatever will be, will be" person but maybe there is an element of pleasant surprise in allowing things to unfold... to allow myself the space to unfold. To unpack these emotions and past three weeks of June that have felt like an entire year on its own. Time to iron out the creases from holding on too tight, to wring out the worries and get a bit more sunshine.
It's going to take awhile to get into the habit of surrendering when I fucking love control... but let's see how we go.
“You want to know what my secret is? You see, I don’t mind what happens.”